it's been months since i last blogged here.. i'm not really one for keeping up on these things, that and my life is pretty uneventful. but enough time has past that i have had some occurances and taken some journeys. over the past few months, i have taken to my sewing again. i have learned how to make braided wire circlets and have taken a trip home to see my family. i got to see my dad, whom i haven't seen in over two or three years.. it's been a very long time. i also got to see friends who i haven't seen in forever. reconnected with them. sadly, though, one passed on shortly after we saw eachother. but it's ok. she is no longer in pain and was love very much in her short lived life. in the time that she was on this relm, she lived the fullest life i could immagine for someone her age. she is with the gods now and is suffering no longer.

i have also taken up embroidary.. oh so much fun.. i don't see much of that past time in my future. it's a means to an end. other then that life is pretty normal.

He found it.. I can't believe he found it. Tonight, Mike came home with the 25th aniversary edition of The Princess Bride. Not only did he come home with the dvd, but he came home with the book! He and I have been looking for a copy of that book everywhere! And he found it. He surprised me with it after I had dropped group on a Karazhan raid to talk to a guildie about an incident that had happened earlier today. ^_^ I can't believe he found it.

I got an offline from my mom tonight. Today there was a party held for my grandfather and my niece to celebrate their birthdays. Turns out that the young man that looks after my grandfather is the youngest brother of my ex, Charles. I am still kind of shocked and yet somehow relieved that someone from his family is looking after someone from mine. Matt may be a bit slow, but he and his brothers are sweet hearts. Their mother taught them to be polite and courteous but not to take anything if someone does them wrong. My father was surprised when he learned about it too. He must have not realized that Charles was Matt's older brother. That wouldn't surprise me, it's been how many years since Charles and I were together. I belive my dad met him only once at my graduation party.

My mom did have some bad news about Charles. Turns out when he told us he was dishonorably discharged from the air force, he lied. The reason why I haven't heard from him for so long, is that he is serving time for something he did in a military prison. He is finishing out a seven year sentence after which he will be kicked out of the air force. I am not worried about why he didn't tell the truth. He is one of those guys that has a reason for not telling about something like that. If he wanted me to know, he would have told me. Honestly, i am just glad to know that he is still alive. I have been worried about him for some time now, seeing as how i haven't heard from him in ages. It gives me hope that one day in the future I will see him again or atleast talk to him. Atleast i know he is alive, even if his situation isn't exactly what i would like for him. He is alive. Frankly, that is all i can ask for. It takes a load off of my heart just knowing that much. Please keep him in your thoughts. He will be forever in mine, even if i don't hear from him again. I can only hope, if that is the outcome of it all, that he will live his life happily after these next few years of what i am guessing will be hardship. Yep, that is pretty much my wish for him. A happy, fulfilling life... even if i am not a part of it in any way. I just want him to be happy.

It's been a rough week and it's only tuesday. mike and i went to a funeral this morning for one of his friends. AJ was only 25. i am sad to say that he killed himself saturday night. no one really knows why he did it. the story that we heard was that he had an arguement with one of mike's friends after getting drunk then went home to his girlfriend. he got into bed with her and told her he loved her, she kinda blew him off and told him to go to sleep cause he was drunk. he said it again and she blew him off. he picked up a gun that was near by and put it in his mouth. he pulled the trigger twice. she told him to stop being stupid cause it wasn't loaded, so he loaded it and shot himself. there are things about this that don't make sense, but it doesn't really matter. everyone wants to know why he did it, but that question can't be answered. it is sad, though, from what i knew of AJ, he didn't seem like the type of person to do something like that. i honsetly didn't know him well, if at all. i met him a few times, but he always seemed polite and never gave off a wierd, creapy "you can't trust me" vibe. he had a good heart and had a lot of friends. that was very evident this morning at the funeral. pretty much all of mike's adopted brothers were there. (friends so close they might as well be family) it was good to see them all again, i just wish circumstances could have been better. i know all of them are hurting. it has had its affect on me as well. it was hard being in the chapel of the funeral home looking at AJ laying in an open casket. he was so young. had his whole life ahead of him. and it was all taken away in a blink of an eye. i am not going to say such a waste, because what he did with his life, while he was here, touched alot of people, and even if it was a small change, he left his mark on thier lives. i can see it when i look at mike and his friends. i hear it in their voices when they tell stories of the things they used to do. loss is hard to deal with no matter if you knew the person or not. knowing what it is like to love someone and lose them makes it easy to feel someone elses pain in a situation like this. i feel thier pain and know that the best thing i can do for them is to be here when they need me. i just hope that AJ knows how much he really is loved and how much he will be missed. and i hope he finds peace. may the goddess guide you, AJ.

I woke up yesterday to a pleasant surprise. My mom left me an offline letting me know that my niece was born yesterday morning at 2 something. I think she said Malina weighed 6lbs 6 oz. but im not sure. she said she was a tiny baby and had long curly hair. i am happy for Josh and Quiana. I always knew he would make a great dad. i am looking forward to seeing pictures and meeting little Malina next time i go home.

 

also, i have been looking into going back to school. after the recent loss of one job and the almost immediate finding of another, both paying minimum wage, i decided that i am tired of going from job to job and just barely making it by. i am tired of not enjoying what i do and would like to make something of myself while i am young enough and am able to do it. so, after talking to rose and thinking about it, i decided to look into something that i wanted to do a few years ago. Graphic Design. i was dissapointed to find that there aren't many schools in this area that offer courses for it. but then again, this is rural missouri. i would have to commute to springfield or saint louis for classes and i don't want to do that. that would be too costly ontop of tuition and stuff. so i looked into online courses and found a school that i feel good about. it's a bit costly, ok so it's alot costly, but like i said, compared to the others that i looked at, i feel good about this one. right now, i am filling out the paperwork and the financial aid stuff so i can hopefully aford it. mike is being very supportive, i am glad for that. it makes things a little more easier to handle knowing that he is behind me on this. if he weren't supportive, i would probably force myself to give up on it.. again.. but he isn't like someone from my past who said i couldn't do it. he just wants to make sure that we can afford this before getting ourselves deeper into debt. i can't blame him. i am worried about that myself, but hopefully it won't be too bad. well i better get off of here and get ready for work. it's gonna be a long day today. 8 hours of "would you like your milk in a bag?" yay me! can hardly wait-_-